How to Increase Your Self-Confidence in 3 Easy Steps so You Can Kick-Ass

When I work with clients who want to write a book but haven’t made a start, we start to explore why they haven’t started. There are common themes when it comes to their reasons, for example, some people believe they don’t have the skills, while others don’t have the right mindset, but for others, they simply don’t have the confidence. Lack of self-confidence can hold you back in many aspects of your life, so here are 3 top tips to help you increase your confidence so you can kick ass and do anything you want to do!

‘I’m not like them (influencer, public figure, celebrity)…’

Unfortunately, we live in a world in which we constantly compare ourselves to others. This can make us feel us inadequate, but you’re missing the point… you don’t have to be like other people, because what makes you unique and attracts others to you, is that you’re different. You don’t need to confirm, you just need to be you. So, tip number #1 – stop comparing yourselves to others. Focus on you, and what makes you different (not the same)! Once you realize that being unique is good, and step away from the comparison culture, your confidence will grow. One way to boost your confidence if you find that you’re constantly comparing yourselves to others is to start a gratitude journal. This means you can be grateful for what you have (attributes too), rather than what you don’t.

Do you ever tell yourself: ‘I’m rubbish at that.’, ‘I can’t do anything right.’, and ‘I can’t do that’?

This is negative self-talk and it’s impacting your confidence by beating it down. This negative self-talk limits your abilities and holds you back from doing what you want. Effectively, you’re trash-talking yourself and putting yourself down. You need to flip this on its head, and practice positive self-talk. If that little voice in your head tells you you’re rubbish, tip number #2 is to challenge it (your negative self-talk) and replace with positive self-talk. Why are you rubbish? Have you even tried? How can you improve? If you feel you ‘can’t do’ something, tell yourself you ‘I can do it’ and ask yourself why you think you can’t. If there’s an issue, problem-solve it – we problem-solve every day and we have the power to overcome any barriers in our way. If you overcome such problems and start using positive self-talk without thinking about it too much, your self-confidence will start to improve and you’ll find that a positive mindset develops (which will help you grow in confidence further).

Stop setting yourself up to fail!

Set yourself realistic goals that play on your strengths. So many people set themselves out-there goals that are unachieveable, then they beat themselves up because they don’t succeed. Tip number #3 is to set goals that set you up for success. If you want to achieve something that is a bit out-there, break it down, and set up smaller goals and objectives that help you work towards that big end goal. It’s human nature to expect results quickly, as feelings of success and achievement boost your motivation and confidence. If every step you take towards your goal is an achievement, you’ll be able to monitor your progress and performance which ultimately means your confidence will be boosted along the way. You can do this as a writer – so if you haven’t started your book yet, and it’s your first book, it’s unlikely you’ll have the book you want by next week. Set yourself a realistic timescale overall (say 6 months, for example), and then set yourself objectives along the way so you are walking towards the completion date. First, work on the outline (to an agreed date), write the first chapter, then set goals to write the remainder chapters, then set a date for the editor to review it… and so on. If you don’t set yourself smaller goals along the way, you’ll lack motivation and it’s likely you won’t complete the book within the time you planned to. This will then knock your confidence as you’ll feel you’ve failed – you didn’t, you just need to plan and goal-set better. You should also play to your strengths, so if you’re good at being organized, schedule to focused time to spend on your writing. If you lack motivation, find an accountability buddy to keep you on the right track – there’s always something you can do to ensure you play to your strengths.

While there are many ways to boost your confidence, these three are probably my favourite. They are easy to implement into everyday life, but you’ll soon find that they give your confidence the boost it needs, so you can continue to grow – you’re worth it!

When we are confident, it reflects in everything we do. Since I improved my self-confidence, I’ve found I’m much better at handling situations in my business – including payment issues, agreeing contracts, knowing my own worth, saying ‘no’ (which is also empowering in itself), and I’m much more social and professional because I know what I want!