How to Overcome Your Fear of Revealing Too Much When You’re Writing

Writing is revealing… There’s no other way to frame this. Fear number 4 of the 7 most common writing fears is the fear of revealing too much when you write. When you write, you always reveal a little something of yourself, especially when you write non-fiction. I can tell you why you fear revealing too much – we feel this makes us vulnerable. Many people see vulnerability as a weakness, but often, this is how others grow to love us. Getting over this fear sometimes takes a little time.

Many writers don’t realize how personal a book is to them until they’ve written it, and sometimes they come to see it’s much more personal than they ever intended. This gives them a sense of panic, but let’s put things into perspective… It’s unlikely that people will know you are talking about an experience with them unless you actually named them or are extremely detailed. You recognize it because a book is your truth but this doesn’t mean others will.

If you are simply reflecting on a situation or deep feelings, then you’re likely safe. Just be aware of any libel issues.

When it comes to worrying about how much you are revealing, until you publish the book, you have an opportunity to edit. Don’t feel pushed into publishing things that make you feel extremely uncomfortable, but make sure you aren’t making unnecessary changes too – simply because you’ve started to panic.

Showing vulnerability in your writing is good because it shows:

You are relatable
You are real and qualified to do what you are doing
You have real-life experience

If you’re concerned about this then you should:

Start small – only reveal a few things that you want people to know
Plan in advance the experiences you wish to disclose and the lessons you’ve learned from those experiences
Build your confidence up slowly and decide which vulnerabilities to share, how to share them and who wtih. You are in command!

While overcoming your fear of revealing too much isn’t easy, just remember, this is something you can generally control. Be brave, and choose what to disclose and what experiences you wish to reflect on. If you have a story to tell or something to share, be proud of that and have the confidence to say what needs to be said (with measure, of course).

When we are aware of our writing fears, they are much simpler to overcome!

Much love,

Janet XOXO